‘HE MADE ME BUY FISH AT 5AM’ ‘Psychic’ Cat Sold to a Russian Witch For $84,000

Doug Williams
The mind-bending moggy came between its owner and his wife
The mind-bending moggy came between its owner and his wife

A cat with psychic powers. Cats have been made famous in literature and lore, myth and music.

Some folks love them (like author T.S. Eliot) some folks fear them, but one thing is certain: almost no one is indifferent to our furry, feline friends. Yet to say legend has been largely unkind to cats would be a gross understatement.

“She deals with extrasensory phenomenon,” he claimed. “She can see in some beings the object of her interest – and earnings. More than once she stipulated that the cat will pay off. She has a website, and some good respectable clients.”

Black cats are unlucky. Cats are in league with witches and warlocks, casting deadly spells. In Celtic lore, one large black cat is said to roam the rural landscape, hunting for human souls to devour.

In Iceland, of all places, there’s a tale of a hungry, mythical feline that wanders the countryside looking for people to eat for its Christmas dinner.

A way, no doubt, of keeping badly behaved children in line during the festive season. Yes, poor cats have had it bad in legend and lore for centuries.

But for those who love cats, there is no finer animal. And for those who believe they really do possess mystical powers, owning a cat is an absolute must.

For anyone in the business of telling fortunes, reading auras or predicting the future, it’s de rigueur to have a kitty as a sidekick.

Count among the latter group a woman in Russia — a clairvoyant, according to a recent story in the Times — who took ownership of a cat from a man in Blagoveshchensk, who was deathly afraid of the apparent powers the feline manifested.

It was able to appear suddenly from behind locked doors. It imbued him with its own thoughts, he claimed, such as suddenly developing a taste for foods he formerly despised, including fish and sausages.

He told the Times, “Before I met Utkins (the cat’s name,) I did not believe in supernatural things. But this creature managed to inspire me to thoughts and shame me (into doing) what I did not want to do.”

That, apparently, included going out at early dawn and buying seafood for the cat to devour. The paper identified the psychic pussycat’s former owner only as Dmitry R; alas, he didn’t want the notoriety that came with such claims, apparently.

But the kitty’s new owner very much wants notoriety; she insists she is clairvoyant, and psychic, and paid the princely sum of $84,000 (USD) for the pussycat — about five million roubles.

Although the Times was not able to interview the woman because she claimed to be wary of publicity (ahem) Dmitry insisted to the paper that she is the real thing.

“She is a clairvoyant, and came with all her paraphernalia,” he explained. “She closed the cat in the room, and then rapidly decided to buy it. She has a website and some good, respectable clients.”

“He would wake me up at 5 am with a strong desire to eat fish or sausage. So much so that I had to go out right then to buy it and give it to the cat. And as soon as the cat started to eat, my hunger disappeared.”

How the kitty — not a purebred animal by any stretch — managed to attract this buyer remains a mystery, as she lives about 4,500 kilometres away, let alone how or why the psychic was willing to pay such an exorbitant fee.

Yet she picked up her new pussycat and took him back to her home in Novosibirsk, where she plans to put him to work earning his kibble, helping her when she performs séances.

Dmitry is just glad the cat is gone, he said, as his powers were creating problems in his marriage; apparently his wife was afraid of the furry beast. He only got the cat when his aunt died, and he was left responsible for it.

The kitty creeped him out, Dmitry insisted, because “he reads minds — but the worst thing (is) he inspires thoughts…they are impossible to resist.”

The Times didn’t report what Dmitry plans to do with his windfall, only that he and his wife are glad the little creature is gone.

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Perhaps they’ll buy a purebred dog, one that doesn’t insist they buy it prime rib or fillet mignon through the power of suggestion.


fmssolution is one of the authors writing for Outdoor Revival