Wedding Rules From The Past That Are Outdated Now

The garter toss and bouquet toss were often seen as fun reception traditions for the wedding party and any other singles at the wedding.

With her back facing a group of unmarried female guests, the bride would toss her bouquet to the group. It was said that the woman who caught the bouquet would be the next to be married.

For the garter toss, the groom would pull down the bride's garter and toss it into a crowd of eligible bachelors. Whoever caught it would be married next, according to tradition. Today, many couples find these practices outdated and cringey, so more and more couples are skipping them.

Today, the main rule for wedding guest attire is to avoid wearing white so that no one competes with the bride. As a result, many guests wear black or other dark colors. However, back in the day, black was considered bad luck to wear to a wedding. This is because it was associated with mourning and was considered a way to express disagreement with the union.

Wedding invitations were not just simple cards. Many couples in the past spent a ton of money on wedding invitations that were handwritten by a professional calligrapher and included a separate reception card, RSVP card, inner and outer envelopes, and tissue paper.

Most modern couples are choosing online invitations over paper ones because of the cost, and they can track RSVPs easily through an app or website.

Wedding cakes have been a traditional aspect of ceremonies for decades, with different cultures putting their own spins on the dessert.

Some people claim that in the '80s, most tiered cakes were primarily styrofoam, with only one tier being made out of cake for the couple to cut. Guests were then served fruitcake to take home.

Many couples today are opting for cupcakes, donuts, candy stations, or other desserts besides cake. They just want to break the mold.

Wedding registries were the expectation and the standard decades ago. Every guest brought a physical gift, with the intention of giving the new couple something to help them as they prepared for their own home. It was considered very taboo to ask for cash or give it as a gift.

However, since many couples are now getting married later and already have most of their home essentials, they are asking for cash gifts to put toward their honeymoon or other expenses.

Jordan almonds, personalized mints, and other knick-knacks were common wedding favors of the past to show guests some appreciation for attending the ceremony. Today? Most couples are skipping wedding favors altogether. The modern view is that no one really likes the taste of jordan almonds, nor do they need another knick-knack in their life. To save costs for something more worthwhile, wedding favors have been sidelined.

Having a woman's father walk her down the aisle was considered proper, signalling the transition from her father's home to her husband's home. These days, many brides do still follow this tradition, but the expectations aren't as rigid as they used to be. Some brides are accompanied by both parents, while others choose a sibling, friend, or another family member to walk with them. Some brides even walk alone! There are a lot more options compared to traditional ceremonies of the past.

Diamond engagement rings became the standard in the 1940s because of the jeweller De Beers. Their advertising campaign created the slogan "Diamonds are forever" tying the gemstone to the idea of longevity in a marriage. While diamond engagement rings are still very popular, public figures like Princess Diana opted for a different gemstone (in her case, a sapphire). Today, it is more common for couples to choose rings made from lab-grown gems, moissanite, or other stones that reflect their tastes.

A receiving line was where the bride and groom stood with their parents and greeted guests as they entered the reception. This was done to ensure that the couple had a few minutes of one-on-one time with each guest and thanked them for attending. Receiving lines were expected at most weddings, but many couples opt not to do them anymore because they feel rigid and can be quite time-consuming.

In the past, there was almost no question about it – the bride took her husband's last name, effectively becoming "Mrs. John Smith" and being introduced as such at the end of the ceremony and the beginning of the reception. These days, only about 80% of women take their husband's name, with women who have a higher education or a professional career choosing to stick with their maiden name.

It would have been unheard of – and probably even controversial – for the bride to have a male friend in her party or the groom to have a female in his. Bridal parties were strictly segregated with women standing with the bride and men standing with the groom.

These days, the rules are much more relaxed and mixed-gender bridal parties aren't frowned upon.

In the past, it was highly expected that the newlyweds – more so the bride – hand-wrote a thank-you card to each guest, showing their appreciation for their gift and for attending the event.

Today, thank you cards are still expected to some degree, but expecting the bride to handwrite hundreds of cards is a little unrealistic. Many couples now email a thank-you note or send out a postcard. Some do not use thank you cards at all, but make an effort to thank guests on the day of the ceremony.

Cakes, invitations, and decorations were limited to floral designs, scrolls, and other designs traditionally associated with weddings. However, many modern couples are putting their own spin on these items, opting for things that reference pop culture or their own unique interests. A Star Wars wedding cake wouldn't have even been considered a few decades ago, but now couples want to have more fun on their big day.

Here's an interesting tradition where things were actually more relaxed in the past. According to some people on the internet, the expectation was to wear something nice and appropriate but there wasn't a lot of fuss over whether their outfit was considered "black tie" or "garden party". It has actually become more common for modern couples to specify the dress code for their guests, which has become a bit more of a headache for their guests.

This is a tradition that varies depending on where you grew up. Some claim that if a wedding invitation was only addressed to the parents, then only the parents would attend. Others say it was very common for entire families – kids and all – to attend because weddings in general were more relaxed and less formal. The term "child-free wedding" wasn't really a thing until the 2010s, and now many couples will explicitly state if their wedding is child-free or not on the invitation. This is one rule that has caused some rifts in families, especially in ones where they think children shouldn't be excluded.

Back in the day, the newlyweds' "getaway car" was decked out with tissue paper, tin cans, and white paint to announce them as freshly married.

This tradition has largely stopped for a few reasons. One is that many couples rent a vehicle on the day of their ceremony, and rental companies aren't too keen on cleaning all those decorations off. Another reason is that bridal parties are so busy on the day of, that there simply isn't any time to sneak away and decorate.

It would shock people from the past to see modern wedding venues. Instead of traditional churches or other houses of worship, weddings take place at hotels, golf courses, wineries, and other unique venues. The idea that weddings must have a religious component has mostly faded in the modern era.

Wedding parties date back to ancient times, when the people standing with the bride and groom had specific purposes during the ceremony. In more recent decades, the wedding party came to symbolize the bride and groom's closest friends and family members who would stand next to them at the altar. Nowadays, many couples are cutting down the size of their wedding parties or choosing to forgo them altogether. Again, a lot of this stems from costs and simply wanting a more straightforward and pared-down experience.

Speaking of bridesmaids, we are all familiar with the identical bridesmaid dresses of the past. Especially in the '70s and '80s, bridesmaid dresses were over-the-top ensembles featuring puffy sleeves, odd accessories, and even matching hats.

Many modern brides have decided against choosing one uniform look for their bridesmaids. Instead, many will have them wear the same color, but in different gown styles, or even choose a complimentary palette with some variety in it.

We've seen this scene play out a hundred times in movies: Immediately following the wedding, the bride and groom race out of the reception and into a car that takes them to their honeymoon.

For a variety of reasons, this doesn't quite happen anymore. Once again, the cost of traveling has gone up, so many couples wait to save money for their trip. Depending on their work situation, others need to save up their PTO days to take a longer vacation, meaning that departing right after the wedding isn't always a practical option.

One of the biggest rifts that can happen when planning a wedding these days is deciding who gets on the guest list. Many people from older generations insist on inviting extended family members even if they don't regularly speak to the bride and groom.

Another rule that is considered outdated is inviting someone to your wedding solely because you attended theirs. When choosing the guest list, most modern couples focus on close family and friends, selecting those who have an active presence in their life.

During the reception, tradition dictates that a head table consisting of the bride and groom and their parents was expected. Even more unusual, the seating arrangement had the bride and groom sitting in the middle, with their parents split up on either side of them. Another variation was to have the wedding party and the parents of the couple included in the seating arrangement.

Instead of a head table, many couples now prefer to have their own "sweetheart table", a small two-seat table just for them. This gives them a bit more of an intimate experience and the chance to take a break from interacting with everyone and focus on each other.

A guestbook was a formal tradition where wedding guests signed their names and wrote a congratulatory message to the newly married couple. Some people online even claim that there used to be a "guestbook attendant" who essentially stood by the guestbook, asked people to sign, and watched them while signing. It sounds like a pretty boring job and something that is not included in most modern weddings.

This is a tradition that is still seen at contemporary weddings, but it's one of those ones that everyone rolls their eyes at. According to the custom, the bride and groom were expected to kiss whenever people clinked their glasses. Again, this is still done, more so as a joke, with the expectation to do it once or twice, so the bride and groom aren't being forced to kiss on demand for the entire reception.

Some people online claim that wedding gifts were typically opened at the reception or that a separate gift opening party took place the day after the wedding. This was back in the era when couples had wedding registries filled with china, linens, and small appliances.

Today? Since many couples are requesting cash, cards are opened in private, with the reception focusing on eating, drinking, and dancing.

It was customary back in the day that nearly every guest was given a plus one with their invitation – even teenagers attending with their parents. Of course, this led to huge wedding guest lists with many people not knowing the bride and groom at all.

To get a plus one with your invite is not something that is guaranteed these days. Since wedding expenses have surged so much, couples are very specific with their lists and don't want to spend a fortune on a bunch of strangers.

The concept of the bride's family covering most of the wedding costs dates back to when women had a dowry, an inheritance of sorts that went to her husband and his family once the marriage was finalized.

As you can imagine, this practice became very unpopular in the modern age simply because weddings are expensive. Now it is much more customary for both the bride and groom's families to pitch in, or for the couple to simply pay for things themselves. Many couples now hold stag and doe parties to raise money for their weddings because of the enormous costs.

Along with formal invitations, wedding invites were expected to be addressed to "Mr. and Mrs. John Smith" when the guests were a married couple. If a married woman retained her maiden name, then the invitation would be addressed to "Mr. John Smith and Mrs. Helen Peterson." These formal rules were expected and anything else was considered rude.

Most of these etiquette rules have gone out the door. It's very common for wedding invites to drop the titles and simply use the guest's first and last name (sometimes, even just the first name). With the exception of the older generations, most don't even realize there were rules in the past, so it's really not a big deal anymore.

There were many rules and superstitions regarding bridesmaid dress colors in the past. Green and black were rejected because they were associated with mold, death, and decay. Yellow was frowned upon because it meant that the bridesmaid was ashamed of her fellow. Pink and red were also avoided.

Surprisingly, white was one color that was deemed appropriate, since in folklore, bridesmaids were encouraged to act as decoy brides that would confuse bad spirits.

Today, brides typically choose from a varied palette for their maids' dresses, with white being the least popular.

The idea of having children in a wedding party dates back to seeing them as symbols of innocence and fertility. Flower girls entered before the bride to mark the transition of childhood to adulthood.

For modern weddings, the role of the flower girl and ring bearer isn't exclusive to children. Dogs, grandmas, and other close friends can take on these roles, marking a shift in a long-held custom.